I'm starting to worry a little bit about this recurring question. ;) Victoria and Sissy were nice enough to come back down after babysitting during the Med-City Marathon a couple weeks ago to do it again during our anniversary so that we could go away for the night! Major milestone as our kids have never been away from both of us for an entire night. Well Sissy brought out one of the old tricks they used on all of use when we were kids...

'I'm gonna call the police if...' I still remember these threats when I was little and the terror they caused me lol. I don't remember if I've had any conversations about police with Josh or not. I know we've gone to firestations and he loves them...I know I've told them firemen and policemen are nice...but what I told him about 'jail' might have been what has caused his paranoia.

I'm probably wrong but I think Josh has a pretty good grasp of what 'forever' means. And I don't remember the context of the conversation but I know I told him someone was going to jail forever or maybe he or I would go forever if we did something...So I know 'jail' scares him...he was reduced to a crying mess in Morris once when one of his uncles playfully said Josh was going to jail.

Well the Aney Aunt's didn't let up either, using the classic 'pick up the phone and start dialing' saying that they are calling the cops if Josh doesn't do something they want and of course at the site of this, Josh comes sprinting towards them like a bat out of hell ready to do whatever it took to convince them not to make that call! I can only imagine the humor they saw in this (as I probably would too).

When Ann and I got home from our anniversary trip, Josh waited until Victoria and Sissy were gone to inform me that they had to call the cops four times! As if to say, 'I don't know how I made it through the weekend without ending up in jail...forever' I like how he waited to tell me until they were gone too...probably scared that the mention of cops might make them pick up the phone or something and start dialing.

Well last night, Josh and I went to Home Depot and Menard's to look at some storage sheds...he had gotten a hold of a circle piece of cardboard at Home Depot and was playing with it as we drove to Menard's. Our new car has windows that go down in the back so Josh is experiencing his first few rides with an open window right next to him. Of course he thought it was the greatest to hold the cardboard out the window. I told him to not hold it out the window, knowing that he'd sooner or later drop it and he replied with his practically rhetorical 'for?' as in 'What for?'. I say practically rhetorical because no matter how I answer this question, I'll get a 'for?' reply again, over and over. It's almost making me cringe thinking about it. Well, anyway, I told him the truth, not really trying to scare him, 'Because the cops will get mad if you through garbage out the window and we'll have to go to jail'. Josh quickly brought the cardboard cirlce more inside the car but was still playing with it.

A few blocks from Menard's, the cardboard slipped out of his hands, flew up, bonked him in the face causing him to close his eyes for a moment and not realize that it fell to the floor inside the car. However, Josh thought it flew out the window and immediately froze in terror and had the guiltiest look on his face as he looked at me in the rear view mirror trying to read my facial expressions. Being the expert poker player that I am, ha, I didn't give him any hints, but waited for him to act first, but Josh has been 'taught' well ;) We both sat in silence, starring at each other as we drove the last few blocks.

As I parked, I could hear sirens muffled by the music and the 'devilish' side of me came out. I told Josh that I think I hear the cops coming. His face turned ghostly white as he fought off tears, saying 'But I don't want to go to jail' over and over. As I walked to his side of the car to take him out of the car seat the sirens were conveniently getting closer and louder...Josh was looking 'worse and worse'. I swear at this point I had little devil horns growing out of my head, but I still thought this was a little entertaining...he did disobey me right?! ;) Anyway, I wasn't responding to his panicked requests, but letting him learn the 'consequences' from his actions, but after about the fifth or sixth plea that he didn't want to spend the 'rest of his life' in jail, I let him off the hook...a little bit. I said, 'Well, I can hear them getting closer, let's get inside and hope they don't find us'. It was practically like I was being pulled from a dog sled team or something, Josh trying to sprint for his freedom tugging at me with all his might.

We made it 'safe' inside but Josh was still 'troubled'. He was on perfect behavior in the store and I thought, 'Heck I might as well take advantage of the good behavior' so I didn't say anything to dismiss the fact that we were still 'fugitives'. Josh had a hold of my pant leg and didn't utter a word or attempt to steer astray during the whole trip. Riding lawn mowers and big grill displays didn't even tempt him - which usually are a required half hour 'play stop' (which I fully intended to do here, but he kept walking right past them).

So we headed back out to the car and I was waiting for him to discover the cardboard in the car and be all happy that it didn't fall out the window, but as I lifted him in, I swear he was scanning the parking lot for undercover cops or something and didn't even notice it. I buckled him up and reached down to grab the cardboard and handed it to him, expecting to see relief wash over his face, but instead it was as if I just handed him a ticking bomb and told him to diffuse it or something. I just kind of chuckled and said don't drop it out the window and walked around to my seat. I had left all the windows open an inch or two since the car is black and gets hot and as soon as I got in...

Dad, I want my window rolled up, and that one too (as he pointed to Audrey's window)...will you roll up all the windows? This is a complete 180°...usually it is a fight because I don't want to open them. After explaining that he wouldn't drop the cardboard out the windows if only open that much he started to relax again...Are cops nice? he asked. I wondered how I should answer this one...

OK, now I'm on a grove getting back into this blogging mode. Truth is my office is such a disaster right now that I don't even open my computer at home (for work or personal stuff)...tonight is the night that I will clean it! By the way, a great site that I'm loving right now is Unclutterer. So back to the point...some updates on Josh. Josh keeps getting funnier and funnier as his mind keeps soaking in more and more facts (he of course spits out several of his 'own facts' which is a blog topic on its own). I haven't updated the readers in a while on Josh - not since his broken leg, so here are a few that pop into my head that epitomize what we love about Josh.

Good Manners - Josh is doing very good on having good manners...chewing with his mouth closed, saying 'Excuse me' when he wants to talk to someone, saying please and thank you unprompted more than any other kids his age I've seen, it truly makes me (and I hope Ann since she works on all of them with him - maybe not the chewing one as much as me - inside joke to many) proud to see such a well behaved kid. It is kind of funny, and a little bit embarrassing, when Josh starts critiquing others on their manners. Almost always he is commenting on someone not chewing with their mouth closed, lol. Think I have him on the right track of good table etiquette.

'He has smoke in his mouth!' - Another thing I work very hard at instilling (probably too much) is that smoking is bad. God knows when you are supposed to approach this subject with your kids, but better early than late is my philosophy. So, I've gone a little over board (albeit the truth) in telling Josh that smoking will 'kill him, and I will cry forever if he dies'. I like how Josh is just as dumbfounded as me when we spot someone smoking and wonder how they knowingly can still smoke, but what is entertaining is how vigilant Josh is about. Whenever we are driving, he is constantly peering into cars that we are passing to make sure that no one is smoking and if some one is, thank God Josh doesn't have a bullhorn because he goes off on them ;) Additionally, whenever we are walking into some establishment, you of course have to make it through the haze of smokers standing outside the door...well, Josh spots them about a block away...freezes as if he was about to be spotted robbing a jewelry store or something and covers his mouth. It almost takes an act of congress to get him to walk towards 'his death' ;) And as he gets close, he gives them a puzzled/dirty/scared look and sprints by with his mouth covered trying to avoid 'certain death'. When he makes it in the clear, he proclaims, 'I didn't get smoke in my mouth Daddy! I'm not going to die!'...Phew, that was close, disaster averted! As long as I can keep him having this attitude on smoking I'll feel like I instilled something good in him ;)

That's my 'puter, please don't touch - Josh's second cousin (I think :S) Jacob (Kelly's kid) gave Josh an old Bob the Builder computer that he no longer played with. Josh couldn't have been happier. That was several months ago and he still loves the thing. But he had a classic line he used to utter a few times a day. Every morning he had to 'make money' so he'd go turn on his computer and would sit there waiting (as if it was really doing something, lol), then he'd turn around and inform us the reason for the delay, 'Daddy, it's chugging a little bit...it doesn't chug as much as Tom's computer...it just chugs a little bit'. Then he'd proceed to make some money which he says he's going to give all his money to Dad...I'm keeping my fingers crossed. Then after working, he'd close the computer and warn anyone around, 'That's my 'puter, please don't touch it' as if it was top secret. Anyone who can visualize Josh's speaking patterns are getting a chuckle right now I'm sure, me being one of them.

And, of course, John Deere - He definitely gets this side of his personality from his Hennen side. This kid loves mowing lawns almost as much as his grandpa. Every day he mows the lawn, then we get him the real weed wacker (without the power source of course) so he can weed whack! The way he says that with his crinkled nose makes us crack up every time. And of course the sound effects he makes as he waves the thing around gives my cheeks cramps just watching him, but he'd do it hours on end if we let him. It the same thing over and over, put baby Jazz in the back pack (since I carry one or both of him and Audrey in backpack(s) when I mow) mow for 10-15 minutes, set baby Jazz down 'because she's hot' Josh informs me as he comforts her in the shade, then get the weed whacker down from the hook (we have to hang it back up every time he finishes), weed whack for a while, then start the cycle over again. It's gotten so 'bad', that even if I offer to go play tennis or baseball with him, Josh looks at me in all sincerity and says, 'Dad, I can't, I still have a lot of grass to mow'. We load the mower up in the car wherever we go so that he can mow the lawn when we get there. If we can pull him away from our yard with some sort of bribe to go on a walk down to the park to play, he of course has to bring along the weed whacker and trim everyone's lawn on the way down to the park and people practically think it's child abuse when they see Josh lugging around a weed whacker basically bigger than he is 7-8 blocks down to the park and back...but he wouldn't have it any other way!

Now I lay me down to sleep... - Josh's best friend Elizabeth Arendt is moving to Boston for a year as Katie (her Mom) will be working out there and then returning to Rochester. Josh, in his 'fact creating' self informs us that 'Elizabeth is going to Americas for three weeks' and ensures us that there is nothing to worry about ;) What is pretty funny is the prayer we say every night, the well known one, Now I lay me down to sleep.... Well at the end, we always let Josh decide who to 'God bless' as he says 'God bless X' and I/Ann repeat and it continues on unprompted until Josh doesn't want to God bless anyone else. As long as I can remember, it always starts and ends with Elizabeth - even if a week or two goes by without seeing her...almost as if it has become part of the prayer ;) Well, as I said, it is unprompted and for the last month or so, it goes like this every night...

God bless Elizabeth...(I repeat)
God bless Pattttttt...(I repeat...for each one)
God bless Katie and baby Cassie...(those are all the Arendt's by the way)
God bless my lights...(Bob Tougas just reinstalled a few of the original 'toys' in Josh's bunk beds recently)
God bless my drawers...
God bless my gate... (guess we ge to keep him locked in there for a while longer ;))
God bless Elizabeth...
Say Amen...Amen (in unison)

Josh will definately start to miss his best friend once he realizes 'three weeks' have turned into fifty-two, and I'm curious to see how long they stay on the 'God bless list' as Ann and I call it...hopefully until they get back! :)

Yes I'm still alive...don't know what happen to the time but all of a sudden five months passed since my last blog. Audrey is all grown up (at least in her eyes) and pretty much directs traffic at our house. She's got a special way of getting everyone to do exactly what she wants whether it is her patented finger point with an inquisitive tone/sound she makes or giving you her puppy dog eye look when she's playing the 'emotional' card on you or a flat out grab the toy and haul ass towards the door when she's in her 'take no prisoners' mode.

I don't know if it is because Josh is a boy and she's a girl or if Josh is older and should be better behaved or if it is just because Audrey is so damn cute and almost impossible to get mad at (as is Josh of course) but we love all three approaches Audrey uses and try our best not to burst into laughter as Audrey is 'sprinting' away with whatever toy she took from Josh (since we are of course trying to teach Josh that that is wrong). The look on her face is priceless as the moment of realization hits that either Mom, Dad, or Josh is going to take her toy, she gives you a look like 'You'll never take me alive!' and turns around squealing/squeaking/squawking and starts running for cover (in the oh so funny way she wiggles her hips and shoulders).

She even took it to a new level one day where she sprinted back to her room with a toy she had taken from Josh (she is such a terrorizer) and a few moments later came out with out it. Walked right up to Josh and smirked at him in a victorious little smile (or should I say vicious) as if saying, 'I took your toy, hid it in my room, and there is nothing you can do about it!' Again, holding back laughter, we told Audrey that we were all going back there to get the toy and give it back to Josh which of course sent her into an emotional downward spiral. She is such entertainment and we love her to...although it is a bit worrisome at times ;)

She's majorly playing the puppy dog card right now. She's had over a 100° temperature for two solid days and hasn't slept nor really eaten anything. It's been a major pity party at the Aney household the last couple days and I'm pretty sure Audrey is aware of it and playing it out for all it's worth - laying on couch, too tired to move, giving us a muffled wimper or a hoarse 'Mom!' it's almost more than we can bear to watch her suffer - or at least that's what Audrey is convinced of (but we are of course happy to oblige). This morning after another all nighter of whimpering (she's too sick/tired to let out a proper cry) we finally gave in and went to the doctor hoping against the dreaded...'She's just got a cold' answer from the doctor (I tell you, being on independent insurance sure makes you more cynical about going to the doctor). Well good news in that our money was 'well' spent and bad news that Audrey has an ear infection(s) on top of her teething (almost all teeth at once). We got some medication so hopefully that'll help turn things around so everyone can get some sleep.

Of course Josh is quick to remind us, Audrey's not puking Dad...she's not really sick...nope! and he says it as if it is the gospel...the way he asserts his 'facts' is pretty comical...I know where he gets that from ;)